i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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