he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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