Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
