I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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