yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
vagina is talking i cant
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
