Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
