I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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