I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize