how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize