i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You need a sexual gate keeper
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
