Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize