There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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