we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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