Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
