apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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