I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
