No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
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Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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