pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
