You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
