He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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