They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize