She's JV to your varsity
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
