she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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