I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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