We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize