Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
