So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
