If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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