things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
