i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I supernannyed him into submission
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
