I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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