you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
