I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
