Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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