my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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