I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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