I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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