i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
