i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize