I look better un-naked...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
