the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
