i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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