WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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