he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
