Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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