I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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