Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
