it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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