he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
