I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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