3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
