with your own penis?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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