if only i could text you this smell
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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