She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can't turn off my feet"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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