I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
