Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
