5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
