Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
