We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
