I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
