We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
