matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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