So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i came on her dog
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
