Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
